Photo courtesy of Pretty Little Liars.
Where the hell are you?! We’re supposed to talk!
Can you just text me please. What’s happening?
I can’t keep doing this, Margo. Please call me!
20 messages so far, from Nate. I couldn’t blame him. I just threw a huge bomb on him last night, then disappeared while he was just sleeping beside me. I am lucky if I thought I would get away with this from him.
“You’re phone’s buzzing. Nate must have woke up,” Luke said, bringing me a cup of coffee. “By the way, Jane texted me. She knows you’re here, but wants to ask you if she could come over.”
“Oh of course she could come over! This is a crisis. I just don’t want to be at her house the minute Nate decides to barge in there looking for me.”
“You have a point. I say let’s wait till Nate does that. I don’t think he’ll do that here so this is a safe zone.”
Nate knew I would always run into Jane’s, I always do whenever we fight. And though Jane’s never hid her disapproving act when it comes to me dating him, I just can’t drag her into the seriousness of all these. The last thing he needs is a nag from my friend.
Hence, Luke. I texted him at 3am, when I managed to gather myself up and decided I wouldn’t be sleeping, not while Nate’s breathing down my nape. Get me out of here, please. No questions, for now.
20minutes later, I received a reply from him, informing me he and his car’s outside.
“Hey!” I whispered to him, my overnight bag slinging on my right shoulder. He managed to noticed that and hurriedly went out the car to help me load the bag in the trunk.
“Hi! Everything okay?” He whispered back. “And why are we whispering?”
“Can we go first?”
That’s how I ended up in his place on the day that I badly needed to talk to my boyfriend about possibly having a baby.
“I know you said no questions, but can I just say something?” I just looked at my friend and nodded quietly. I crashed into his couch and slept for what seems like the shortest nap I’ve ever had. “If you have needed a space to think last night, he should have given you that. He shouldn’t just even be outside your room, but outside your house as well.”
“That was both our apartment.”
“I know, but you are going through something. And you might have thought it was sweet of him to stay by your side, but it is respect, you know. For you to figure the problem out on your own, because it might not have been about your relationship, but about yourself.”
“Yea. I know what you mean. Honestly, I was quite out of it last night. I’m so confused of what to feel.”
“That’s understandable, considering…” He paused.
“What?” I insisted.
“Considering you haven’t been in a healthy relationship for a while.”
I was shocked. I didn’t know Nate has a bad impression on him, too. I thought he was always neutral.
“I know! I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t like him. But I don’t like you with him.”
“I don’t need this right now, Luke. Just let me stay a couple of hours and I’ll be gone in a jiff!”
“No! I’m sorry. It’s not that. Let’s talk about this once all this trouble is done. Stay the hell in here, I won’t say a word anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
He sat beside me on his couch, remote on his hand, and switched the TV on.
“Shut up and don’t be a drama queen. You can stay. But promise me you’ll talk.”
“Promise. Thank you Luke!”
I held my head on his shoulder, and he gladly welcomed it.
I think I already knew why I ran away from Nate. I’m already assuming his reaction and I’m not ready for that. I know that he’s not ready with this kind of seriousness yet. And I’m scared that this might break us. But the thing is I don’t really want this to be something that could make us, because deep inside I know that for me, this would be good.
The thing is Luke has a point. My boyfriend should have given me the space I needed to think this through. It’s just that when you have to make a decision, it’s hard to look out for your own sake without thinking about the other person who’s hugging you from the back.
I picked up my phone and decided to text Nate back.
I just needed a minute to think on my own. I’ll be back soon.
I wanted to say that I’ll be home, but I don’t feel like it’s mine right now.
Jane arrived at around noon, bringing us food for lunch.
“Did he hurt you?”
“He molested you? Asked you to have sex on your period?”
“No.” And I remembered what triggered the fight last night.
“Did he proposed?”
“No.” And I smiled at the stupidity of the thought.
“Are you even gonna tell us?” She asked exasperated, almost throwing her chopsticks at me. I saw Luke smiled in the corner while getting the last spring roll.
“Hey, look. Let me just finally talk about this with Nate. I don’t want to tell you then we end up concluding this story on our own.”
After lunch, I went to take a good bath. Luke’s so nice to even offer me wine while I enjoy the hot bath. I thought I wouldn’t be able to resist, if it weren’t for my situation.
Okay. I just regret not having to be by your side with all the stuff you’re going through. I want to be there for you. Let’s just talk, please. Nate’s reply to my last text.
At least he’s calm now, before he even got the chance to call my parents.
“Hey, Jane, can I use your car?” I asked Jane while she snoops around my bag while I cloth myself.
“Sure. I can also drive you if you want.”
“No need. I would just text you if I’m coming back tonight. Just pick up the car later if I’m not. I will call you again soon as we finished talking.”