When I were a student, March is considered an ending season for us. I had a love/hate relationship with this month, anticipating it whenever I come across difficult situations at school, and avoiding it when I just can’t get enough of the things I could brag about my successes and good jobs for the year.
I’ve had three major goodbyes done in the month of March, transitioning from one school to another, all left empty promises with my friends that I would try to keep in touch, and held a lot of hope about the next scholle where I would basically be living in. They all taught me the importance of changing one’s perspective about ending a season and starting a new one.
It was all about accepting change, and the fact that moving forward sometimes means leaving something behind.
In this blog this month, I ended my breastfeeding chronicles. It’s goal is to share the essentials about MY experience: what things I think were necessary, what emotions are felt, and how I encourage myself in times when I would just about to give up. At this point of writing, I haven’t yet decided what I would like to share next in place of breastfeeding. But that’s okay. I still see the beauty of this indecision. There are just so many topics to choose from and all of them holds so much stories to be told.
As for me personally, I have encountered so many opportunities this month, so much like graduating from college. I was lucky to talk to different people about start up businesses and getting back on corporate world. It is much harder, though, now than in college, when to accept a job is based on liking the work and the environment, and not thinking about the hours that it would take a day and which one would affect less on my precious time with my child.
Eventually, I had, as of now, already gone 2 days meeting people without dragging my son with me. I left him at home, with my inlaws, and I thought about him every single minute that I’m away. It’s a burden that I think I have to learn to live by.
Even I ask myself, too, do I really need the job? Do I really have to leave my son to talk to other adults about technology and grown-up stuff? Aren’t I supposed to be just at home, taking care of my family? Isn’t it selfish of me to think of working because it’s part of who I was?
It takes a lot of hardwork and self-reflection to accept the fact that yes, I need to work. I need this, and, it sounds selfish to need it but it’s part of my destiny. I felt like it’s part of my lifetime to work on myself, to educate myself about the corporate world, and it’s a persona of me that everyone around me has to accept, even my son. I’m a working person, a working human, a working woman, and a working mother. And there’s no judgement to those who doesn’t work, to moms who stay at home, those who chose or need to be indoors. This is part of the differences that each person has, and we have to accept and be kind to everyone.
Every March of the year, I consider it a transition month for learning about myself. Ending it doesn’t mean closing my doors on my previous schoolmates and the lectures that I had. For me, it’s passing all the exams and tests of the previous semesters, applying all the knowledge that was taught to me, and giving myself a break from all the lessons. So that when the new school year comes, I would enroll in fresh from a vacation, skin a little bit darker, hair a little bit rufflier, ready to tackle on some new lessons to learn and passing new tests that life would give.
Writing in buns,